Love advice I would give to my own daughter!

“A man will treat you the way you allow him too. ” my favorite saying.

Why men love bitches” (from doormat to dream-girl) by Shery Argov.

 It’s not about being a bitch per sei, but to be aware of male behavior,

being assertive, protect yourself, not be gullible and never let
men take advantage of you, jump through hoops, or overcompensate, because of insecurity, or low self-esteem. You see, being needy, or desperate is a turn-off for men and they can smell it on
you. The minute a guy can tell that he’s got you, he tends to lose interest.
The bitch is smart & keeps him on his toes. She’s unpredictable
and plays by her own rules. She doesn’t sacrifices her life, her
hobbies, friends and interests. She stays true to who she is, with
or without a man. She doesn’t need a man to be happy.
Men love women who are independent , with her interests, her
own life, which puts less pressure on him.
The difference between a bitch & a doormat, is that the bitch does
not put up with bad behavior & demands respect, with her actions,
while the doormat bends over backwards to accommodate a man.
The result is that he will take her for granted.
For example:
If the bitch is with a guy who is in a bad mood, or he misbehaves…
then she will cut the date short, with a polite excuse as “let’s call
it a night” to teach him she won’t tolerate anything less than a
good time. The doormat however, will do anything to cheer him
up and will  jump through hoops to do so. If he asks her to drive
to his place, bring him things, cook for him, she will comply.
If a date is late, the doormat will wait, while the bitch leaves after
20 minutes. Her time is valuable and she’s got a life.
The doormat is always available & accepts last-minute dates, while
the bitch waits for no one and  is often too busy with her own life,
which makes her a challenge and something to be conquered.
When it comes to sex… the doormat is an easy lay, since she’s
so desperate to have a man & doesn’t trust that she can hold his
interest. The bitch is confidant, knowing she has plenty to offer
outside of the boudoir. She lets him wait, which makes her more
alluring and less predictable.
Who do you think a man will respect more?
Women must learn not to reward a man for bad behavior.
Don’t do things he can do for himself like laundry, or cleaning
Don’t pay for a man ( his rent, clothes, bills, etc. )
Don’t be gullible and believe everything he says.
Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve
Don’t be”too available”
Don’t drop your plans, or friends, when a guy calls
Don’t have sex “too soon” ( 3-5 dates )
Don’t drive to his place to pick him up for a date
Don’t accept “last-minute” dates
Don’t tolerate bad behavior
Don’t chase a man
Be your own person
Listen and look out for red flags
Keep your friends and interests
Be slightly unpredictable
Keep busy with your own life
Be assertive about what you want ( or don’t want )
Stay just outside of his reach, so he won’t take you for granted
Be wary of the guy who talks too much, makes promises right
off the bat and speaks about the future. Major red flag!
The ideal date ( = mate ) both speaks and listens equally. He is
focused on you and asks questions about you, showing interest
in who you are.
Pay close attention to “his pattern” of conduct. Is he consistent
( calles every 2-3 days? ) or does he “blow hot and cold” ( coming
on strong & then pulling back and disappearing for a week or more?)
Watch his body language when you ask him questions. Does he
answer spontaneously, look you in the eye, or is he evasive, stalls
and fidgets? Make sure to ask important questions in person to be 
able to observe him and his reaction.
Et voila ladies. Be smart with your heart and think long-term
gratification. Easy come, easy go! Respect is earned, not given,
so learn to take it slow, with a new man and judge by the way he
treats you and the people around you, not his words, or promises.
And the saying is true, if he is into you nothing will keep him away. Trust.

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Having been a huge fan of Sex and the City and also being from New York City I decide to start a blog after I became single. I am getting over a broken heart. What I write may not always be nice there is still some pain, but It will be the truth of my experiance some of what I went through and some of what I have learned. In the end I would love to help even one person move on quickly from heartbreak and never have to go through the hurt and the pain that I allowed myself to let linger. I moved to South Beach for my present Job and to start over. My blogs will be related to love and relationships in one way or another because like Carrie I am still searching for my Mr.Big. “Maybe its time I be clear about who I am. I am someone looking for love…” - Carrie Bradshaw, 2004, Sex & the City Series Finale Welcome to SexandMiami.

5 thoughts on “Love advice I would give to my own daughter!”

  1. Your post has been on my mind for the last couple of days. Very interesting seeing guys from a female perspective. Also interesting that what you advise women exactly applies to guys too.

    Maybe these insights aren’t exclusive to men or to women, but apply to all us humans. Have your own life. Do you think that’s a secret to successful relationships? Ironic, if it is. Love the person you’re with, but have your own life too.

    Oh, and interesting too that talk of future plans is a red flag… Haha. I’m going to tells guys “Don’t talk about future plans unless you mean it!”

    Great post.

    1. Thankn you,
      Let me say 1st I do not know you but I believe you are gentalmen and I imagine you treat women with respect.
      I tell my friends and readers this one thing a lot. Don’t chase a man. Same goes for a man don’t chase a women. If they are into you man or women it will flow naturally and you will know because it just feels right. Do you agree?
      When I think of great relationships I think of my parents. They were so in love. The one thing they had is respect for each other as well as an interest in each others lives and supporting each others decsions . There was no jealousy or lying. No anger no hurtful words. Only a Lot of love and respect. I have been searching for what they had my whole life.
      Because in the end everyone wants to be in love. : )

      1. Treat a woman with respect… absolutely! In fact, I’m a strong believer in treating EVERYONE with respect. Man, woman, child, senior citizen, rich, poor, even those who might not show you respect… we all have “The Good” in us, which deserves respect.

        I love your portrait of your parents. Again, it makes me ask what their secret is. I heard an interview with a wise man–who has been happily married for 30 years–once say that his secret was three things.

        1. Complete and total honesty. This builds trust, and necessitates good communication.

        2. Take responsibility for yourself. Meaning, don’t blame, but rather ask “what is my own part in things?”

        3. Have your own life–specifically, both people wanting to always grow and evolve. I guess the idea here is… like what you’re saying… if that other person ever leaves you, you’re still on solid footing. It also avoids co-dependency. And it avoids that zone couples sometimes get into of mediocrity and taking each other for granted. When you’re both evolving, you have something to share with each other, support each other on, and it stimulates the relationship.

        But I agree with you that both doing this yourself and finding someone who’s committed to doing the same… well, let’s put it this way. It’s a lot more easier to talk about it.

        What do you think?

      2. Yes, complete and total honesty most important . A well rounded relationship takes work and you MUST grow together or you will grow apart. What I learned from growing up with soul-mates is forgiveness, trust, love, admiration, attraction, patience, laughter and a lot of it. My mom loves to tell the story of the night they met when she turned to her best friend and said. That’s the man I am going to marry. How she knew is a feeling that can’t be explained. I guess that’s what it is like to meet your soul-mate : )

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