How Do You Love?

“In life you’re going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words
at all the right times. But in the end, it’s always their actions you should
judge them by. It’s actions, not words, that matter.”
Nicholas Sparks

One thing I can say about me is when I do fall in love with someone I do so with every ounce of my being. I love whole heartedly. I have only been in love 3 times in my life. The 1st being high school. The 2nd my ex-husband of 12 years and the 3rd was the last man I loved he was younger than me we lived together for 2 years.  With each love I noticed I loved more than the last . I don’t know if this is just a coincidence or if this is how love works. We learn more as we go along we give more of ourselves with each one emotionally and sexually . Maybe the last one was so intense because it was his 1st real relationship where he lived with a woman.

I thought he loved me so much, that we were so great together. We were inseparable . We played together and we did a lot of silly things with each other . We lived by the beach and would get cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory and go sit in the lifeguard chairs at night on the beach and eat and look at the stars. Light fireworks for no reason just to see the pretty colors. Florida is cool like that you can buy fireworks all year long. We would turn our bed into a tent. We filled a walk-in closet with glow in the dark stars and would use it as our fort. lol to hang out and be close to each other. I thought we had such a strong connection, great chemistry. We were so playful together. Every time he came into the room I had butterflies every time he touched me. I never loved anyone that much before.  But none of that was real. It was all about him wanting, wanting me, a succesful older girl with a lot to offer. The way he loved me was overwhelming at times he was so intense so protective over me. I thought the jealousy was sweet sometimes. He became everything I wanted in a man ,so much that I would question if his feelings were true or an act. I think he did everything to please me so he could be part of my life and all that went along with it . However the universe knew how much I loved this man so it did what it does best. It tested the love and took away everything I had that was material. Funny thing happened, he told me he didn’t love me anymore and suddenly I was no longer “the one”. As quickly as he loved me was as quickly as he didn’t and I no longer existed to him. When I was about to need him the most he was gone.

I know all loves are different and that we learn lessons from each of them. The one thing I learned is you can’t bluff the universe .You can lie to yourself, but the universe will always make sure the truth is reveled.  So do you love for butterflies because I do.  Anything else is a waste of time.

So how do you love? Do you love for the right reasons?

Do you love for comfort?


For looks?

For money?

Or are you like me, do you love for that feeling the butterflies?

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Having been a huge fan of Sex and the City and also being from New York City I decide to start a blog after I became single. I am getting over a broken heart. What I write may not always be nice there is still some pain, but It will be the truth of my experiance some of what I went through and some of what I have learned. In the end I would love to help even one person move on quickly from heartbreak and never have to go through the hurt and the pain that I allowed myself to let linger. I moved to South Beach for my present Job and to start over. My blogs will be related to love and relationships in one way or another because like Carrie I am still searching for my Mr.Big. “Maybe its time I be clear about who I am. I am someone looking for love…” - Carrie Bradshaw, 2004, Sex & the City Series Finale Welcome to SexandMiami.

9 thoughts on “How Do You Love?”

  1. One thing I read was that people tend to have an affair with someone not for the way the look but the way they make them feel. Not that an affair is applicable here but the point I am getting at is, people get used to the feeling the person they love gives them, I think more than anything else, looks, money etc. it all waxes and wanes over time, but the feeling remains, so strongly that if people lose that feeling some are willing to have an affair! All I am saying is that I think for all of us, the way we feel when we are with someone we love is the ultimate reward and can also be the ultimate curse if those feelings fade. I loved this blog, it sounded like you guys had a really close relationship, but the things he said to you are awful! My ex said to me “you are selfish and everyone thinks so” it is their own insecurity that makes men say things like that, most likely no one ever said that to him.

    1. I believe that he wanted to hurt me for some reason. Maybe so I would hate him for what he was doing. Those comments killed me @ 1st but I learned that some people are evil and will do and say awful things just to cause damage.Thank you for liking my blog :}

  2. to answer your question, i love for all the above reasons.

    beautiful blog… i have no doubt you will find love and love even more because u seem to be a beautiful and sincere person in and out. this time feeling butterflies will be one of the many things you feel :o)

  3. That is a beautiful quote . And thank you for reblogging. I have not thought of him in awhile. Well I trained myself to refocus. but i dreamnt of him last night and he picked me up in my dream and was kissing me passionately i said to him get out of my dream you hurt me too much you cant be here. When I woke up i said please god let me love someone that much again before I die.

  4. Reblogged this on Preconscious and commented:
    ‘With each love I noticed I loved more than the last.’ I think that’s how love works. With each love you make mistakes and you learn to not make those same ones the next time. With each love, the love grows as you grow and love more. I think it’s the way it’s supposed to work so in the end, the final love …it’s the one where you’re both complete and honest in the love you share. And you’ve learnt all you needed to; so in the end, you just Love.

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