Relationships are difficult enough to get over without the complication of cheating thrown into the mix. This added element adds more confusion and doubts as you get over the relationship. Below are some tips on how to get over a cheating boyfriend.
Tips to Get Over Your Cheating Boyfriend
Dump Him (if you haven’t already)
A guy who cheats is someone who doesn’t really want to be with you. No matter how much he may claim he does, remember actions speak louder than words. If after dumping him you want to give him a chance to prove he deserves you go ahead, but don’t stay in the relationship as he works to show he is worth your time.
You are Not Responsible for His Actions
Often times cheaters will try to convince you that it is your fault they strayed. It’s not. They’ll try and make you think that if only you had done this, that and another that they wouldn’t be tempted to cheat. No matter what you may have done or not done you didn’t make them cheat.
Change His Name in Your Cell
When you get lonely or drunk you might find yourself tempted to call him. Don’t. To help you resist this, change his name (and maybe contact photo) to something like ‘asshole’ or ‘dickhead.’ Don’t delete his number all together that way you’ll be able to screen any calls from him. If he has something worth listening to he can leave a voicemail.
Invest in Yourself
Resist falling on the self pity wagon. Instead, spend some time making yourself feel great. Go to the gym. Spend some extra time on your hobbies. Take excessively long bubble baths with a glass of wine and a good book. Hang out with your girlfriends (who you’ve probably been neglecting a bit). Do everything you enjoy that you never had enough time for as a couple.
Remember the Bad Things
After any breakup it is easy to find yourself looking back on the relationship with rose colored glasses. Prevent this by making a list of your cheating (ex)boyfriend’s good and bad qualities. Once you are finished rip off the good side and burn or recycle it. Hang the bad list somewhere you’ll see it often, perhaps on your bathroom mirror, so you will be reminded of those negative qualities when you get lonely and start thinking he wasn’t all that bad. You deserve great, not mediocre.
Listen to Some Empowering Songs
Make a breakup recovery music mix. Include songs like “Katy Perry Wide Awake,“ Jason Durolo Rollin Solo” and others along those same lines. Listen to this mix often and loud. Sing along at the top of your lungs and you’ll feel better every time you do.
Go Out Dancing
Grab your girlfriends and go out dancing! Ignore the boys, because the night is about just having fun. If you don’t like club dancing, try a salsa or swing club. Most have a beginner’s lesson (often complimentary) before the night begins. Plus, experienced dancers are always happy to help a beginner join in the fun.
Things You May Want to do, But Really Shouldn’t
- Ruin his car like in “Before he cheats” by Carrie Underwood.
- Throw all his things in a giant bonfire
- Take out an ad in your local paper giving his name and saying he has several STDs and/or is just plain terrible in bed
- Send awkward free informational pamphlets to his work everyday
Any of these things, or others along the same thought, are momentarily satisfactory, but will result in you sinking to his level, which is way beneath you. Be the bigger person and move on. He’s not worth your time.
Here are some signs of a cheater:
While on the phone with a friend, they giggle/laugh and say, “You’re so crazy” frequently. Usually, after such conversation, suddenly have to run to the corner store to grab something completely unnecessary.
- They have cheated on everyone in their past, yet insist that they are not cheating on you.
- They tell you every detail of every single phone conversation they just had. Ex: “That was such-and-such. They were just calling to say hi, etc….”
- Every single contact on their phone that ISN’T family is of the same gender they are. (Yes they will change the girls name to a guys name)
- Their recent calls/messages/emails are always empty, yet they remain super busy, and when you ask about ignored calls/texts they constantly say “I never got it.” This occurring every so often isn’t bad, but every day, a few times a day is a little sketchy.
- When getting a call/text at odd hours, usually from one of those same-gendered friends mentioned above, they say, “It’s just a friend from around the way/back home” and home is 3 hours ahead.
- They get angry and defensive when the subject of trust comes up, even if it’s not in reference to your relationship. It usually looks a little like this: “That’s BS. You should just trust someone. If you don’t trust them completely, then you should just leave!” There are other variations, too.
- Their phone and computer are top-secret, FBI protected and absolutely untouchable. Touching either of them is punishable by being struck down by the wrath of God.
- The money is funny. It’s either missing, or isn’t matching up with what they’re saying. For example, saying they’re working all these extra hours BUT have no extra money.
- When out in public, they suddenly refuse to hold your hand or act in any way like a couple.
- They become very particular about their appearance, changing their wardrobe, cologne/perfume, etc. ( this is another big one)
- When arriving home, they simply say “Hello” and head straight to take a shower without a hug or kiss.
Chances are if you are suspicious to begin with, it means one of two things: You have SERIOUS trust issues, or they probably are cheating.