When you are sad, add more lipstick and attack – Coco Chanel While applying some lipstick after a bad day I noticed the rush I felt, it was an instant pick-me-up. Looking down at my drawer filled with lip color I thought of how I wanted to dive a little deeper in the history of […]
Lately I have asked myself this very question. Where is the love? It seems we have all become so desensitized to commitment. So what about love? In today’s society love can be found by the second just by logging on and swiping right . How are we supposed to meet and build a relationship when most people are looking for their love in all the wrong places. Even when you do meet someone chances are they’re on the phone while you are together swiping left or right.
With dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, Happn, Her, ect. There’s no shame, just a steady stream of swipes. It has become more of a looking event; that is just looking at pictures more then actually meeting people the old-fashioned way. Even when you do meet someone organically chances are they’re on their phone while you are together swiping left or right . Dating apps offer convenience and we have become a convenience driving society. With sites like sitchfix.com we can’t even pick our own clothes anymore, there’s a site for that too. But for most of us who have become sick of dickpics and first dates that go nowhere. We crave chemistry. That feeling of butterflies that you can only get by meeting someone IRL.
I have noticed that most of my friends and myself included have the most success by meeting people the old-fashioned way. IRL through friends or co-workers or god-forbid our parents or family. If you have swiped left or right enough to get carpal tunnel maybe its time to try the good old fashioned way.
Get introduced, go on that blind date that your friend has been trying to set up for you. While there is no wrong way to meet someone maybe going back to the good old fashioned way of IRL meetings isn’t such a bad idea. We have become such an app driven society that even meeting people in everyday life has become a convenience. So next time you find yourself in that shared Uber strike up a conversation. What do you have to lose? It can’t be worse than an app, and you never know, you may end up actually meeting someone you can have a real life conversion with and maybe something more you just have to be open .
So you were heart-broken you had sworn off love for the rest of your life . Turned down every offer that came your way so many times that after awhile it just became the norm.
You think about it sometimes, could you do it again? Would you have it in you to give so much of yourself again with the risk of being hurt again. The easier option is to just focus on yourself and swear off
relationships. And this is a good thing to do. As time really does help to heal the wounds of the past. That time is different for all of us but, the quicker we accept that it is over the quicker we can heal.
This is exactly what I did for a long time after going through a very bad heart-break and break-up. I just hung on to my sad story and told it over and over again to anyone who would listen to me.
I thought about it in my head, what happened, what went wrong how blind I was. I went through the grief of being so stupid how did I not see all these things was I under a spell?
I will be sure that doesn’t happen to me EVER, EVER again. So you swear off love, touch, romance of any sort. This is your defense mechanism. This way no one can ever make you feel that kind of pain again.
But eventually we are human and we all need human contact. It’s human nature. One day when you are not looking for it….Yes that is the way it always happens. You will meet someone it’s inevitable and if you are open to love…
It can be even better then it was before. Take what you have learned and use that to make sure you do not repeat the same mistakes . Be trusting with your love do not make them pay for things that your past love may have done. Have patience and don’t try to rush things too quickly to get to the stage you were at with your previous relationship. It wont happen until you have healed fully and believe in yourself .
Have confidence in yourself and believe that you deserve to have the very best. And one day you will turn around and there he or she will be 🙂
Since the beginning of time there have always been some form of younger men preying on older women. I believe back in my younger days they used to call them gigolos now players. Well, recently since the term “Cougar” has come along (if you are over 30 it seems), the emphasis seems to be on the older woman that is prowling around for the younger man, rather than the younger man who may be trying to deceive and take advantage of the older woman. So, how does an older woman tell the difference? Let’s take a look.
First let me start out by saying, only an older woman who is sure of her self, and has a well intact self-esteem should be the only women attempting to date a younger man. This is the first step in her avoiding being taken advantage of. Believe it or not it can be a curse when you look 15 years younger than you are because guess what you attract? You guessed it. If a women is confident and self-assured her eyes will be wide open, and she will see things clearly. This will help her separate the honest younger man who really does enjoy and want an older woman, and the one who is there for a free meal ticket.
Another important step would be to find out as much information about the younger man as possible. If he has had a lot of brief, and unsuccessful relationships with older women or any women in general, he probably isn’t a good bet. He probably quickly took what he could, and ran not walked to the nearest exit.
If the younger man seems to always be out of money, or conveniently forgetting his wallet a lot when you go out, chances are you are a meal ticket, and a meal ticket only. If he seems to hint around a lot about things he needs, along with a pathetic look of. poor me, I just can’t afford it, well you get the idea. I bet if you wait long enough his pretense of not wanting to take advantage will go right out the window. Down the road he will be more than happy to accept anything you bring his way.
If he seems to be a little bit too willing to do everything you want. In a real relationship partner’s give and take, if he is acting more like a puppy that rolls over and plays dead when you ask him, he’s probably not being honest about why he is with you. He is probably just trying to please you so he can stay around long enough to get as much as possible out of you while he can.
If there is a really big difference in your ages, a woman should start to wonder what’s up. He is either in the need for a mother, or hoping you’re going to kick the bucket before he’s to old to enjoy, your money. It’s only in rare cases that when there’s a huge age difference that the two individuals are soul mates who were just born in the wrong time. Often these couples will stay together.
When John Travolta was 23 he was very much in love with a women who was 18 years older than him . She died suddenly of cancer and he was left devastated for years and has talked of her many times, read it here http://www.people.com/people/archive/article/0,,20068072,00.html this is an example of that kind of love.
Last but not least, which is the clincher for older women, is that he is too romantic. I know you think no man could ever be to romantic, however, there’s a difference between romancing your sweetheart and drowning her false gestures. A younger man is very well aware that older women especially, like to be romanced. So, in order for him to get in your good graces and distract you from what he’s really there for, he may be so romantic, you can’t see straight. That’s exactly what he wants. He is also aware that romance is like a drug, if he gives you enough of it, you may never want to give it or him up. Ergo an older woman finds herself with a live-in Valentino she can support until the day she dies.
In the end it’s up to the older woman to keep her head, and guard her heart, so when and if that younger man comes along, she can make a clear, and healthy decision on whether that younger man she is attracted to, is there for her, or just what she can give him! If you lose your high paying job or God-forbid get an illness even a minor one, and he is gone like the wind, well then I guess you got your answer girly!
Some interesting statistics. In the world of online dating. Dating statistics offer very clear evidence that the digital dating trend is still on the rise. The real question remains however: “Does online dating really work?”
The best way to answer this question is to take a broad look at online dating statistics and see how successful others have been in beginning romantic relationships online. Personally I would take meeting organically or by chance any day over online..but that is just me I need to have a chemistry immediately that online dating can never give me. I do not know anyone who has anything good to say about online dating. Both men and women say it is just for the hook-up. I think when online dating 1st became popular around 7-10 years ago, it was taken much more seriously than it is today. Now it is just a free for all of sex freaks and guys and some girls looking for a booty call. This seems to be everyone who I ask about it who has actually done it. Some of them say I had to just get off of it for awhile. Like it’s an addiction which I think it can be. What are your thoughts on this topic?
Relationships are difficult enough to get over without the complication of cheating thrown into the mix. This added element adds more confusion and doubts as you get over the relationship. Below are some tips on how to get over a cheating boyfriend.
Tips to Get Over Your Cheating Boyfriend
Dump Him (if you haven’t already)
A guy who cheats is someone who doesn’t really want to be with you. No matter how much he may claim he does, remember actions speak louder than words. If after dumping him you want to give him a chance to prove he deserves you go ahead, but don’t stay in the relationship as he works to show he is worth your time.
You are Not Responsible for His Actions
Often times cheaters will try to convince you that it is your fault they strayed. It’s not. They’ll try and make you think that if only you had done this, that and another that they wouldn’t be tempted to cheat. No matter what you may have done or not done you didn’t make them cheat.
Change His Name in Your Cell
When you get lonely or drunk you might find yourself tempted to call him. Don’t. To help you resist this, change his name (and maybe contact photo) to something like ‘asshole’ or ‘dickhead.’ Don’t delete his number all together that way you’ll be able to screen any calls from him. If he has something worth listening to he can leave a voicemail.
Invest in Yourself
Resist falling on the self pity wagon. Instead, spend some time making yourself feel great. Go to the gym. Spend some extra time on your hobbies. Take excessively long bubble baths with a glass of wine and a good book. Hang out with your girlfriends (who you’ve probably been neglecting a bit). Do everything you enjoy that you never had enough time for as a couple.
Remember the Bad Things
After any breakup it is easy to find yourself looking back on the relationship with rose colored glasses. Prevent this by making a list of your cheating (ex)boyfriend’s good and bad qualities. Once you are finished rip off the good side and burn or recycle it. Hang the bad list somewhere you’ll see it often, perhaps on your bathroom mirror, so you will be reminded of those negative qualities when you get lonely and start thinking he wasn’t all that bad. You deserve great, not mediocre.
Listen to Some Empowering Songs
Make a breakup recovery music mix. Include songs like “Katy Perry Wide Awake,“ Jason Durolo Rollin Solo” and others along those same lines. Listen to this mix often and loud. Sing along at the top of your lungs and you’ll feel better every time you do.
Go Out Dancing
Grab your girlfriends and go out dancing! Ignore the boys, because the night is about just having fun. If you don’t like club dancing, try a salsa or swing club. Most have a beginner’s lesson (often complimentary) before the night begins. Plus, experienced dancers are always happy to help a beginner join in the fun.
Things You May Want to do, But Really Shouldn’t
- Ruin his car like in “Before he cheats” by Carrie Underwood.
- Throw all his things in a giant bonfire
- Take out an ad in your local paper giving his name and saying he has several STDs and/or is just plain terrible in bed
- Send awkward free informational pamphlets to his work everyday
Any of these things, or others along the same thought, are momentarily satisfactory, but will result in you sinking to his level, which is way beneath you. Be the bigger person and move on. He’s not worth your time.
Here are some signs of a cheater:
While on the phone with a friend, they giggle/laugh and say, “You’re so crazy” frequently. Usually, after such conversation, suddenly have to run to the corner store to grab something completely unnecessary.
- They have cheated on everyone in their past, yet insist that they are not cheating on you.
- They tell you every detail of every single phone conversation they just had. Ex: “That was such-and-such. They were just calling to say hi, etc….”
- Every single contact on their phone that ISN’T family is of the same gender they are. (Yes they will change the girls name to a guys name)
- Their recent calls/messages/emails are always empty, yet they remain super busy, and when you ask about ignored calls/texts they constantly say “I never got it.” This occurring every so often isn’t bad, but every day, a few times a day is a little sketchy.
- When getting a call/text at odd hours, usually from one of those same-gendered friends mentioned above, they say, “It’s just a friend from around the way/back home” and home is 3 hours ahead.
- They get angry and defensive when the subject of trust comes up, even if it’s not in reference to your relationship. It usually looks a little like this: “That’s BS. You should just trust someone. If you don’t trust them completely, then you should just leave!” There are other variations, too.
- Their phone and computer are top-secret, FBI protected and absolutely untouchable. Touching either of them is punishable by being struck down by the wrath of God.
- The money is funny. It’s either missing, or isn’t matching up with what they’re saying. For example, saying they’re working all these extra hours BUT have no extra money.
- When out in public, they suddenly refuse to hold your hand or act in any way like a couple.
- They become very particular about their appearance, changing their wardrobe, cologne/perfume, etc. ( this is another big one)
- When arriving home, they simply say “Hello” and head straight to take a shower without a hug or kiss.
Chances are if you are suspicious to begin with, it means one of two things: You have SERIOUS trust issues, or they probably are cheating.