An Exercise in Forgivness…

A Definition of Forgiveness That We Can All Live With

Forgiveness. It’s such a hard thing to do, but it can be so liberating to the soul. What makes it difficult for most of us to do is the way we define it. We think of forgiveness as meaning that we should say all is forgotten and things will go back to what they were. This Biblical definition of forgiveness is very hard for most of us to swallow. How can you forget the unforgettable? How can you forgive the unforgivable? To enjoy the benefits of forgiveness, however, we needn’t go that far. All that’s really required is that we make the decision to move forward, to let go of the old hurts. We don’t have to condone what’s been done. What’s wrong is still wrong. We don’t have to invite the person back into our lives or even be friendly with them. What we do have to do is allow ourselves to release all the negative emotions associated with that person. As long as we hold onto the pain, we are choosing to allow that person’s past actions to continue to hurt us. We can also choose to stop letting them hurt us. That’s a definition of forgiveness that’s more doable for those of us who are less than saintly.

Here is an exercise you can do right now to let go of pain and begin to regain your life:

Make a list of those who have hurt you and how:

________________ hurt me by___________________________________________.

Now, go to a quiet place where you can be alone and think of each of these painful situations. Think of these in detail, allow yourself to feel the hurt. Then place yourself in the other person’s shoes. What do you think motivated them to behave the way they did? Were they abused themselves? Do they suffer from a mental illness? What fears and insecurities motivated their behavior? Now, think of how they are stealing your personal power. Does this make you angry? Do you want that to stop? Yes! Now, fill out this part of the exercise for each person on your list. Speak the words out loud as if you are speaking directly to them.

________________, I now understand why you behaved the way you did and I am sorry that you are so filled with pain that feel you must inflict it on others in order to regain your own power. I refuse, however, to let you hurt me anymore. I am choosing to let go of the pain you have caused me, for my own sake. I realize that letting go of this pain does not minimize or condone your bad behavior. It does, however, validate my own worth as a person and my right to finally be free of your abuse. I am choosing to take back my personal power so that I may heal. I now release all the hurtful emotions I feel regarding your behavior. I am now free to heal and move on. Only you will know when you have truly forgiven someone for the hurt and pain they have caused you. But this is something to think about.

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How Do You Love?

“In life you’re going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words
at all the right times. But in the end, it’s always their actions you should
judge them by. It’s actions, not words, that matter.”
Nicholas Sparks

One thing I can say about me is when I do fall in love with someone I do so with every ounce of my being. I love whole heartedly. I have only been in love 3 times in my life. The 1st being high school. The 2nd my ex-husband of 12 years and the 3rd was the last man I loved he was younger than me we lived together for 2 years.  With each love I noticed I loved more than the last . I don’t know if this is just a coincidence or if this is how love works. We learn more as we go along we give more of ourselves with each one emotionally and sexually . Maybe the last one was so intense because it was his 1st real relationship where he lived with a woman.

I thought he loved me so much, that we were so great together. We were inseparable . We played together and we did a lot of silly things with each other . We lived by the beach and would get cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory and go sit in the lifeguard chairs at night on the beach and eat and look at the stars. Light fireworks for no reason just to see the pretty colors. Florida is cool like that you can buy fireworks all year long. We would turn our bed into a tent. We filled a walk-in closet with glow in the dark stars and would use it as our fort. lol to hang out and be close to each other. I thought we had such a strong connection, great chemistry. We were so playful together. Every time he came into the room I had butterflies every time he touched me. I never loved anyone that much before.  But none of that was real. It was all about him wanting, wanting me, a succesful older girl with a lot to offer. The way he loved me was overwhelming at times he was so intense so protective over me. I thought the jealousy was sweet sometimes. He became everything I wanted in a man ,so much that I would question if his feelings were true or an act. I think he did everything to please me so he could be part of my life and all that went along with it . However the universe knew how much I loved this man so it did what it does best. It tested the love and took away everything I had that was material. Funny thing happened, he told me he didn’t love me anymore and suddenly I was no longer “the one”. As quickly as he loved me was as quickly as he didn’t and I no longer existed to him. When I was about to need him the most he was gone.

I know all loves are different and that we learn lessons from each of them. The one thing I learned is you can’t bluff the universe .You can lie to yourself, but the universe will always make sure the truth is reveled.  So do you love for butterflies because I do.  Anything else is a waste of time.

So how do you love? Do you love for the right reasons?

Do you love for comfort?

Security?

For looks?

For money?

Or are you like me, do you love for that feeling the butterflies?

My 1st Blog Award. Thank you!!

Thank you so much for this from my fellow blogger http://howtoonlinedate.wordpress.com . I feel so honored that people actually appreciate my rants . I am known to curse a lot…sometimes though I am working on it. I started this blog to vent originally about dating in Miami because trust me its like nowhere else I have ever witnessed before.. Howtodateonline nails it. There are the lazy sunnava bitches, The Bad Boy/douche bag , Soulful “artists” who cry when it rains and the Gorgeous Golddiggers. You know, the ones that tell you everything you want to hear as long as you pay for shit. My personal fav! Also to raise awareness of the narcissist sociopath. This guy will use you for everything you have. Let you believe you are soul-mates and then leave you with nothing in the blink of an eye without a drop of empathy. Wish I had known the signs years ago.  Like Carrie from SEX IN THE CITY . I am still searching for my Mr Big  Aidan. Welcome to SexinMiami baby, Miami the land of house music, hot clubs and the fake. Where everyone wants something for nothing . Thanks again Angie. 🙂 So without further ado.

I would like to nominate the following blogs.

http://mshaiq.wordpress.com I love what this chick stands for!

http://ummyeahah.wordpress.com this girl has gumption!

http://untilyouresafeandsound.wordpress.com love her honesty!

http://yourdailydoseblog.com music, photography, and she sings awesome!

http://thewiseoneoncesaid.com/ A very awesome advice blog from a therapist. God knows we all need one!

Here are the rules should you choose to accept:

1. Thank your Liebster Blog Award presenter on your blog

2. Link back to the blogger who awarded you

3. Copy & Paste the award to your blog

4. Nominate 5 blogs that you enjoy to receive the award who have less than 200 followers

5. Inform them of their nomination by leaving a comment on their blog

Thank you all for following my rants and also helping me overcome my heart-break by sharing my story and the things that have helped me

become my old self again.It has been cathartic for me to say the least . Thank you guys 🙂

How do you completely get over someone you love when they never TRULY loved you….

  • First realize that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. If someone is not interested in you it is in your best interest to find someone who does love and adore you for who you are. Know that you are worth it, and there are plenty of people who will love you. Never settle for someone who is not treating you and respecting you the way you deserve.
  • Ask yourself what might be in his head or his heart; it takes two people to be in a relationship and even though you feel the way that you do, maybe it was meant to be this way. Save your love for someone who feels the same way about you!
  • In my case, I know I deserve better. I tell myself “He isn’t worth my love, he’s a liar and a sociopath and lying is all he knows how to do so I guess that’s that.”
  • It’s not about getting over a person, it’s about feeling good about yourself. It’s about knowing that you are the most important and you need to be happy. If this other person doesn’t feel the same way, it doesn’t really matter.
  • Tough circumstance – being in love with someone who does not feel the same way as you do. It’s not a problem – you can fix those, this is almost like “it’s raining outside” – just have to deal. Objective advice: If someone doesn’t feel the same way as you do – walk off. Don’t even give them the privilege of friendship because you’ll suck yourself back into the delusion. Do things for yourself, keep busy, bury yourself in work and keep searching for what you really want and need. Don’t do what I have done..
  • It is strange when you are hurting from rejection, to hear someone say move on things will be fine. No matter how much you love him, he never loves you back. For all those wondering what went wrong Just stop wondering say it really loud “HE IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU”. Only when one stops chasing and pursing someone who doesn’t love you, will you open the door to that perfect person who will love you back with the same intensity that you will love him.
  • If you believe in destiny then you have know that things happen when they are meant to be. People part for reasons beyond human comprehension but the reality remains if you are meant to love each other and be with each other, it will happen. That’s the power of destiny. Love always wins. Love is important and only it counts.
  • The older I get, the more I believe that some people are full of the capacity to love – like me – and others are incapable of it in the romantic sense, for whatever reason. Fear of commitment. A distorted view of freedom. The desire to stay young forever? A deep unwillingness to give themselves over to another (aka, selfish)? It is an absolute rock and a hard place. Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is the most impossible situation imaginable, especially when the love is so strong you are a slave to it.
  • I went through this . For those of you whose situation is similar, this is what I suggest: Deal with reality. Stop hoping, dreaming, etc. Pray and tell God that you forgive them for not being able to love you. Ask God to take this from you – and He will. Then continue to deal with reality. Don’t tell yourself, maybe someday… they’ll change… True love accepts the person for who they are, even when they are evil and they don’t love you. It means accepting reality. When you love and accept reality at the same time, you are forced to move on. When you deal with reality and move on without love, you take bitterness with you. When you love without dealing with reality, you hurt yourself. Love the other person, Accept the reality and pray to God for the wisdom and strength you’ll need to do that continuously until it ceases to become a problem.
  • Try not to be in contact, its almost like an addiction. You think that one little text will do no harm but the pain when he doesn’t reply will just make things worse. That would be my advice.
  • There is one more thing I can recommend. There are times when you feel very weak and feel you need to talk to that other person even though they may have just hurt you again, you don’t know why you want to talk to them, you just do. I’ve been able to get by these weak moments by writing down exactly what I’m feeling at the time, it comes out in a jumble of feelings and thoughts, some not so pleasant, but in the end it actually helps and I don’t feel to call the person anymore. For everyone out there, keep strong and keep your head up, there are better days ahead.
  • Tough one. If we know for a fact there is no hope for a mutual love, then why torture yourself. Move on. Treat it like a divorce. FORCE yourself to live and keep meeting people. You owe it to yourself to be available for when the right person does come along. Love is like a bus stop, there’s always going to be another opportunity for the bus to stop again — if we are ready for it at the bus stop. Sometimes we don’t ever think we could possibly find someone better than that one we are in love with that doesn’t return the love back, but that’s not true. We just won’t be ready to find it if we are pining for a love that is not healthy or returned. We owe it to ourselves to always know we deserve what’s best and healthy.
  • We all have had heartaches that hurt bad and SUCK! A broken heart is never fun. Life goes on. We have to as well. We owe it to ourselves to know we simply go on. We will meet another person but we shouldn’t while we are hurting. We’ll often end up not being as clear headed. We want someone to love us and to feel wanted, but that’s a potential for another mess. Or, you could end up hurting someone they way you were hurt. When your heart is mended, you’ll know. Every single day we get just a tiny bit better. Ok, maybe not every day, but if we can just make it from one day to the next and keep doing it, pretty soon we will feel better, if only a little, but that’s a start to total healing.
  • You accept yourself as you are, love yourself for who you are, forgive yourself for decisions and actions that have brought you pain, never settle for anything less then what you desire and deserve. Love is all about timing, make yourself the best person you can be both mentally and physically and do it for yourself no man. Once you do that, you will no longer waste your time on men who do not see you for who you are. You will see yourself as a beautiful women that has so much to offer the right man. But to be able to get over lost love you have to be able to forgive yourself, whether it was your fault or not for the break up. You also must make a conscious effort to get him out of your life. Keeping him as a friend will bring only more pain, this is from experience.
  • Let him go, delete his name off your cell phone off your email, put the pictures away. It is your choice to be miserable about the situation, which for the first few months everyone chooses to be sad. I chose to be sad for over a year when the man I loved told me he no longer loved me. But you can also make the choice to be happy, but only you can do that. You have one life why sit there and waste it on a man who can’t see all facets of your beauty. You have one life to be happy, love yourself, forgive yourself and you will see that love will radiate and men will be attracted to that. Good men will be attracted to your positive self worth. And that positive self worth gets rid of all the baggage from past relationships that ruin current ones. But this is a choice, a conscious choice to leave the past and be happy and only you can make it. Know it wont be easy, but in the end you will have the love you have always desired.
    http://youtu.be/Nx1ykBc3XUQ

Believe you deserve it!

A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out — ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening. You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter), and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you, and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are and it’s OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.)

And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in the process a sense of newly found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining, and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn’t do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that not everyone will always be there for you, and that it’s not always about you.

So you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers, and you begin to accept people as they are, to over look their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you’ve been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you shouldn’t weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin re-assessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing, and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown — or should never have bought into to begin with — and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away.

You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship.

You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable, or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and Not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes.

You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love. You learn that you don’t have the right to demand love on your terms. Just to make you happy. And, you learn that “alone” does not mean lonely.

And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the Fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you “stack up.” You also stop working so hard at putting feelings aside, smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs.

You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly okay . . . and that it is your right to want the things that you want, and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect — and you will not settle for less. And you allow only the hands of a mate who cherishes you, to glorify you with his or her touch, and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water, and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear, so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul, so you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve, and that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for,and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and perseverance.

You also learn that no one can do it all alone and it is Okay to risk asking for help. You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time: FEAR itself.

You learn to step right into and through your fears, Because you know that whatever happens you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things.

You learn that God isn’t punishing you or failing to Answer your prayers. It’s just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state — the ego.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected, or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of The simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself, and you try to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God in you, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can. I believe I deserve love. I want love in my life and I want to be in love and feel love again. I can’t let one bad experience rob that from me forever. And if I felt that this was the love of my life than that can only mean that the next one will be even better because maybe this time the person will be true and real, and if they aren’t I will be able to tell before I jump in head first. At least I know I loved somebody with every ounce of my being, and though I may have many regrets about what happened, That is one thing I will never regret.

Might as will face it you’re addicted to love

It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.” – Rose Kennedy

As I am still coming to terms with losing who I thought was the love of my life. Key word here ” THOUGHT”

I decide to do a comparison on healthy love VS. addictive love.  These are some valid observations. Needless to say all the points listed below for addictive love pretty much describe most of my last relationship. 

1.         Healthy Love develops after we feel secure.

            Addictive Love tries to create love even though we feel frightened and insecure.

 2.         Healthy Love comes from feeling full.  We overflow with love.

            Addictive Love is always trying to fill an inner void. 

3.         Healthy Love begins with self love.

            Addictive Love always seeks love “out there” from that “special someone.” 

4.         Healthy Love comes to us once we’ve given up the search.

            Addictive Love is compulsively sought after. 

5.         Healthy Love comes from inside.  It wants to give.

            Addictive Love comes from outside.  It wants to take. 

6.         Healthy Love grows slowly, like a tree. 

Addictive Love grows fast, as if by magic, like those children’s animals that expand instantly when we add water. 

7.         Healthy Love thrives on time alone as well as time with our partner.

            Addictive Love is frightened of being alone and afraid of being close. 

8.         Healthy Love is unique.  There is no “ideal lover” that we seek.

            Addictive Love is stereotyped.  There is always a certain type that attracts us. 

9.         Healthy Love is gentle and comfortable.

            Addictive Love is tense and combative. 

10.       Healthy Love is based on a deep knowing of ourselves and our lover.

            Addictive Love is based on hiding from ourselves and falling in love with an ideal “image” not a person.

11.       Healthy Love encourages us to be ourselves, to be honest from the beginning with who we are, including our faults.

            Addictive Love encourages secrets.  We want to look good and put on an attractive mask. 

12.       Healthy Love flows out.

            Addictive Love caves in. 

13.       Healthy Love creates a deeper sense of ourselves the longer we are together.

            Addictive Love creates a loss of self the longer we are together. 

14.       Healthy Love gets easier as time goes on.

            Addictive Love requires more effort as time goes on. 

15.       Healthy Love is like rowing across a gentle lake.

            Addictive Love is like being swept away down a raging river. 

16.       Healthy Love grows stronger as fear decreases.

            Addictive Love expands as fear increases. 

17.       Healthy Love is satisfied with what we have.

            Addictive Love is always looking for more or better. 

18.       Healthy Love encourages interests to expand in the world.

            Addictive Love encourages outside interests to contract. 

19.       Healthy Love is based on the belief that we want to be together.

            Addictive Love ;p- on the belief that we have to be together. 

20.       Healthy Love teaches that we can only make ourselves happy.

            Addictive Love expects the other person to make us happy and demands that we try to make them happy. 

21.       Healthy Love creates life.

            Addictive Love creates melodramas.

So lets start looking for healthy happy relationships instead of these twisted melodramas. Though yes it can be like a drug in the beginning, I think we all know how those stories end.  Yes, with us in love rehab.  I have been clean almost 2 years now. How about you?

Broken hearts club….no membership fee required.

Image 

Romantic relationships can be really complicated and may even end with a bad breakup. The worst thing  about these “sad endings” is that at least one heart ends up broken. Getting over a break up can be tough. Sometimes, it’s even hard for both sides–after all, breaking up is not easy to do. It hurts to throw away your story with someone–all the good memories and the dreams and plans you two had for the future. Mending a broken heart takes time and patience. But you must face the fact that your heart is broken. It doesn’t matter if you wish things could be different or if you even regret something you did. It doesn’t matter if you think you shouldn’t have become that involved with that person or if you’re angry and looking for revenge. The fact is: Your heart is broken! This relationship advice can help.


So now what? Are you going to sit and cry for the rest of your life or do you intend to do something? Was that ending your fault or are you not the one to blame? Is there something you can do to fix it? Is there something you should stop and think about so you can act in a better way the next time ’round? Is mending a broken heart even possible? Of course it is! Getting over a break up is possible. There are many things you can do to heal a broken heart! And the best thing is: It all depends on you! Here’s how to forget someone in 8 steps.

Step 1

Cry out everything you have to cry about! When we get hurt, it’s normal (and good) to cry. Don’t ever think you’re being weak for crying and don’t feel embarrassed because of it! It’s normal and it’s good! When you cry, you let go of part of your anger and hurt so you can feel less heavy. You can lock yourself in a room, if you want to, and put on some sad music…but let yourself feel the pain and cry so you can let it go. The main thing here is: Get rid of the pain! Just let her go!

Step 2

Get busy! When you’re trying to get someone out of your head, you need to put other things inside of it. In other words…get busy! It doesn’t matter how, you just need to get distracted. Go to a movie, watch a play, travel. It doesn’t matter what are you going to do–the important thing is to find something to do. Find a hobby, find something you enjoy doing, something to keep your mind busy. If your mind is busy, it doesn’t have time or space to think about the person you’re trying to forget.

Step 3

Spend some time with your friends. Friends are always great to have in this kind of situation! Friends can make you feel good about yourself and get you distracted very easily. They will certainly make you laugh and make you see that you’re way more important than you think! The only warning is: Ask them not to talk about the person you’re trying to forget. If they start bringing the topic up in every conversation, you won’t be able to forget, and instead of making you laugh, they’re going to make you cry. So be honest and ask them not to talk about it!

Step 4

Avoid the person! Try not to go to places you know you can meet that person. When you’re trying to forget someone and you two keep seeing each other, it can be even harder to get over it. If you meet him/her somewhere, be polite, but find an excuse to go away as fast as you can! If you work or study with him/her and you can’t avoid seeing him/her, just try not to look and not to talk too much. Just be gentle and keep busy all the time so you won’t have excuses to look at him/her or to chat.

Step 5

Go out and see some different faces! Being at home gives you more time to think about the relationship, which makes the process of working through the end of that relationship even more difficult. So even if you’re not feeling excited or you’re in a bad mood, just put on your best clothes, best shoes, best smile, call some friends and go somewhere nice where you can dance, drink, listen to some music. And the most important: See some different faces! When you go out, you notice that the person you’re trying to forget is not the only one who’s got a perfect smile and an amazing voice…thank god, there are other interesting people in the world!

Step 6

Avoid every kind of romantic thing! If you’re trying to forget someone, you’d better not watch romantic movies or listen to romantic songs…it makes you feel bad and you will certainly remember the person you’re trying to forget. It doesn’t matter if it’s a song you love or if it’s playing on the radio…just change the station or do something else. Put on some happy songs, dancing songs, watch some comedies, terror movies, whatever…you just need to avoid the romantic things for now!

Step 7

Take good care of yourself. Women tend to run for some kind of self-destruction when they’re hurt. If we break up our perfect relationship, then we have no reason to get our nails done anymore and the only thing that gives us comfort is chocolate and sugar. That way, the only thing we do is to become less attractive and lessen our self-confidence. So if you’re hurt, just try to use your pain for yourself instead of against you. Go to the gym, work out a lot, get your nails and hair done…do whatever you can so you can feel more pretty and confident!

Step 8

Accept the process! You can be really strong and it’s still going to hurt. The process takes time and you have to accept that. You can’t hope to forget in 2 days someone you loved for 2 years…and you can’t pretend to be strong if you feel like crying. Just face your pain and accept that it’s not easy and it’s going to take some time. When you’re patient with yourself and your situation, things tend to get easier… 

Of course, forgetting someone is not easy to do nor is it easily explained in just 8 steps. But there are some things that make the process a lot smoother. As I said, it takes time and it’s hard but I’m sure you can do it. The only thing that is really, really important is: It all depends on you! Don’t ever forget that. If you want to forget someone, then you will, there is no doubt! Even if it takes a long time, even if you have to be really strong…you will be! In that kind of situation we usually find out that we are a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for. So believe that — believe that, take a deep breath and move on! Your life’s waiting for you, baby! 

Don’t do what I did and dwell and relive the constant pain by contacting them and waiting for their response which will never be what you want to hear. If you read my stories you will see. It will only set you back. Whether or not you believe you are meant to be together this is you’re soul-mate ect. We have to face the fact that they do not feel the same way. When someone wants you nothing will keep them away. Nothing! It took me a long time to realize this along with a lot of tears and sleepless nights and unwarranted emails always wanting a reason why. It will never be the answer we seek. 

Choose happiness and believe you deserve it, learn from this and find a reason everyday to be happy and grateful for what we have now. Remember you are not alone.  I for one am here and can relate, see that’s one and there are many many more like me.